Elizabeth
Hulburd-Hine-Alderson ("Betty")
General & Other Information |
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Some General
Observations and Comments About Betty
By son Ted Hine
Personality and Social
Graces
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Dressed for her Oct. 28, 1936
Debutant Party in St. Louis at age 19. |
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Betty was a very warm and personable
individual. She was friendly, outgoing, direct, confident,
assertive without being overbearing, pragmatic, supportive, and organized, along with being a good parent to
her 3 sons. Generally, but with a few exceptions, she
practiced the old saying that "if you don't have anything good to say
about someone, don't say anything at all". She was not
prudish, prim, or overly proper but rather was down-to-earth and
mater-of-fact. She was always supportive of her children in what ever we
wanted to do.
Her upbringing in
St. Louis society circles had schooled her in all the proper social
graces of the day and even in her later years when formal meals were
mostly a thing of the past she knew how to set a formal dinner table and
could tell you which of the three forks at your place setting were to be used for
the salad, the main course, and the desert. Her manners were always good
and she usually followed the teachings of Emily Post, a famous writer on
proper etiquette in Betty's day. She always sent thank-you notes
after receiving a gift or present (and always encouraged her sons to do
the same). While practicing all the proper manners and social
graces she never did so in an intimidating, over bearing, or over-done
fashion. She always came across as very down-to-earth, sincere,
and genuine whether interacting with a well educated wealthy socialite
or a Hermann farmer who had never made it through high school. She
had a good, although sometimes subtle, sense of humor though she wasn't
much of a joke teller. She was always polite and showed common courtesy to everyone.
Friendships
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Socializing with
Kirt and
the McKelvys in 1947. |
Betty made friends easily and over the
course of her life entered into many life long friendships which
continue long after she moved to other areas of the country.
During the Hermann years I was always amazed at how many people Betty
kept up with from all over the U.S. and could tell you what they were
up to in the past year or two. At the time of her death Betty's
address book (actually a card catalog) had several hundred active names
in it, many of which were familiar to her sons since Betty had often
talked about them. Till she was no longer capable
of doing so in the late 1970's due to arthritis Betty always sent a newsy Christmas
letter to all her friends each year which included a copied portion sent
to everyone and additionally usually a hand written note. At other
times of the year she would communicate with her friends by letter and
by phone. While Betty had many friends, probably her closest was
Charlee Wilbur (wife of the famous prize winning poet Richard
Wilbur) whom she'd met during World War II.
Communication and
Social Skills
Mother possessed good communication
skills, both written and verbal. Having grown up before the age of
inexpensive long distance phone service, she had learned to be a good
letter writer and she wrote them frequently to family and friends.
In recently digging through her artifacts I am reminded that Betty had a
life-long habit of using pens containing green ink which she must have
considered her trademark ink color. She often even used
green ribbons in her typewriter when she could find them. I recall
her using green ink my entire life and have recently uncovered numerous
samples of her writing in green from the mid to late 1930's.
Her handwriting could be sometimes hard to read as her letters, i, u, w,
m, and n tended to all look the same and run together. After
many years of reading mother's writing I could usually decipher it but
can understand why other's might have trouble understanding it.
Betty was very conscientious about returning correspondence sent to her
and on most of the numerous letters she saved over the course of her
life I have found scribbled on the letter or envelope "ans xx/xx",
meaning she "answered" it in on the month/day indicated.
Cooking and Domestic
Life
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Christmas time
1980. |
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Betty was a good and gracious hostess and
everyone who either came as an invited guest to a party or dinner, or
who just dropped by unexpectedly, usually had a good time. She was
certainly not a fancy or gourmet cook but Betty was good at
"home-cooking" and could turn out anything from scrambled eggs and
toast in the morning to a complete traditional turkey dinner with all
the trimmings on Thanksgiving. While I don't think I've ever
really known specifically, I suspect that Betty must have learned her
cooking skills after moving to New York City in 1939 and continuing
after her first marriage in 1942 since during her youth and school years
in St. Louis her family employed a full time cook and learning the skill
then would have likely been below her social status. While
sorting her possessions after her death I came upon several cookbooks of
1940's and early 1950's vintage along with her card file containing a
lifetime of recipes she had collected. Mother had a number
of family favorite meals she would periodically prepare for us over the
years. Probably my favorite of her recipes was what we always
called "mommy made pea soup". It was basically a very green
split-pea soup which was so thick that it almost required a fork to eat.
It would take a long time to prepare starting with a ham bone and would
simmer on the stove for a day or two ending with a huge pot of soup
which would last the family for days.
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July 1982 in the
Hermann kitchen. |
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Particularly during her Hermann years
Betty regularly used the family formal china dinnerware and crystal stem ware. Less frequently used were the family sliver
flatware and tea service. In my years growing up in New Jersey
we tended to use the formal place settings only on special occasions
(for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner), no doubt so the fancy stuff
would not be abused by us kids. I do recall that in New
Jersey the family "Silver" was regularly polished to avoid
tarnishing due to oxidation. In the Hermann years I don't recall
that the Silver was polished very often and it was usually stored out of
sight where it could not be seen.
Betty's homes were always much more
functional than formal. While some people have living rooms in
their home that can be so formal and intimidating that you are afraid to
use them or touch anything if you do, the living areas in all of Betty's
homes over the years were always inviting, warm and friendly, and in no
way stuffy. While not being above cleaning the house herself
if necessary, Betty, for most of her adult life, had housekeepers to help
with the cleaning a day or so a week. Her homes were always
satisfactorily clean and organized but not overly so. She
often called the style of her furniture and furnishings "Early
Matrimonial", a reference to the fact that everything came from
different places and times and that there was no overall theme to her
decorating. Betty's homes were always full of knick-knacks
consisting of her
artworks, presents, ashtrays, pictures, souvenirs, etc. displayed on walls, window
sills, shelves, tables, fireplace mantelpiece, etc. When I moved
Betty and John from the Farm 1995
it was a major undertaking to identify which knick-knacks and
decorations were valuable and which
weren't since there were hundreds of them. Her homes were not
fancy and always appeared "lived-in" but not sloppy.
Personal
Appearance and Vanity
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Ready for a
night out with Kirt in 1961.
Betty still had her fur coat when she passed
away in 1996. I
don't know that she ever
wore it during her Hermann years as genuine
fur coats had gone out of style in the late
1970's due to
pressure from animal
rights
activists. As I write this son Henry has
the coat
at his home near Nashville, TN.
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Throughout her life Betty was always
generally concerned about her appearance though not overly so nor
obsessive about it. She
regularly wore nail polish on her long fingernails, makeup on her face
along with lipstick, wore
earrings, and she'd
regularly visit a beauty parlor to have her hair done every week or two.
She also wore perfume when going out to anything resembling a formal
occasion. Thinking of perfume reminds me of a little game Betty
and her Sister Harriet ("Dede") engaged in for many years. Some
time, possibly before I was born in the mid 1940's, Betty gave Dede a
Christmas present of a small bottle of perfume (or perhaps vice versa,
I'm not sure I ever knew who was first). Apparently the recipient
didn't like that particular fragrance much and so the next year for Christmas it was re-wrapped and
given back. For years the tiny bottle of perfume was
re-wrapped and given back an forth between Betty and her sister at
Christmas, but with a twist. Sometimes who ever had received it
last would hold onto it for 3 or 4 years till the other had hopefully
forgotten about it and then it would again show up under the Christmas
tree. When I was young an annual Christmas guessing game would
always be whether the perfume would be under the tree in any given year.
This little game went on for maybe as many as 30 or 40 years. The
last I recall seeing the perfume bottle it was only about half full, not
because it was ever used or even opened, but because it was slowly
evaporating over the years through the cap.
Betty wore eye glasses to correct her nearsightedness
for as long as I can remember. I've noted that most of the photos
of her during the years she was growing up in St. Louis and before she
moved to New York City don't show her wearing glasses however there are
a couple of pictures from that period that do show her with them.
I strongly suspect that she was in the habit of removing her glasses
when photos were taken in those days for vanity purposes. Contact
lenses became widely available in the 1970's and 1980's but, to the best
of my knowledge, Betty never tried or used them, probably by then being
of an age that vanity didn't play as large a part in her life.
Religion
I don't think Betty was overly religious
but it did play a roll in her life. She grew up as a Presbyterian
in St. Louis. As I was growing up in New Jersey she was a member
of the Episcopal church and during my childhood she regularly attended
church on Sundays and for years took us kids to Sunday School each week
even though her husband, Kirt, never attended church.
On the other hand, topics of religion and/or religious beliefs never
came up at home either in my youth or in later years suggesting that
they were not all that important to her. After her divorce and
move back to St. Louis she continued as a member of the Episcopal church.
To the best of my knowledge however, she and her second husband John did
not attend church often, if at all, during the 23 years they lived in
Hermann, Missouri and I am aware of no formal church affiliation during
that period. The only open acknowledgment of religion I
noticed during the Hermann years was that John would regularly say grace
before each sit-down meal, at least when family was visiting. Will
not being outwardly religious in her later years, Betty did enjoy the pageantry and religious music
associated with the Christmas season.
Superstitions and
Traditions
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Christmas
morning 1978. John explains
the Treasure Hunt rules.
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Betty
was not overly superstitious but she did subscribe to a few of what I
would call "fun" superstitions and/or traditions which she always shared
with her children and which I think she only took semi-seriously but
usually adhered to. Saying "rabbit, rabbit, rabbit" aloud
before getting out of bed on the first day of the month would bring you
good luck all month. If you forgot, you could also walk up or down
your first set of stairs of the month backwards. Betty always
considered it bad luck to, at a table when eating, pass the salt shaker
to another with out first putting it down on the table. In other
words, when passing salt, you put it down for the next person to pick up
rather than handing it directly to them. She would usually
"wish on a star" when the conditions were appropriate ("Star light, star
bright, first star I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might, get the wish
I wish tonight".) Another way to increase the odds of having a
wish granted was to recite out loud the rhyme "hay, hay, load of hay,
make a wish and turn away" and follow it's instructions whenever seeing
a truck or trailer full of hay (bailed or otherwise) being driven down a
road. Christmas traditions included always having a box of
chocolate candies available for everyone to nibble on while decorating
the Christmas tree and the Christmas morning "Treasure Hunt" which was a
ruse developed when her sons were little to keep us kids away from the
tree and the presents under it while mother and father dressed and
prepared breakfast. Written and/or drawn clues were given to the
kids who then needed to find the next clue based on it which was hidden
somewhere around the house. A hidden present would be waiting at
the end of the clue trail which was always the only one we could open
till after breakfast. Another Christmas tradition when I was a
small boy (shared in one form or another by many I believe) was for us
kids on Christmas Eve to leave a glass of milk on the fireplace hearth
for Santa and several whole potatoes there for his reindeer. When
we'd get up the next morning the milk glass would be empty and all that
would be left of the potatoes were their pealed skins.
Vices
Betty didn't have many vices or compulsive
behaviors that I recall. She wasn't a gambler by nature though
she'd bet a few dollars on something occasionally. The only vices
and/or over indulgences that I can think of that Betty was regularly involved with
were cigarette smoking and the consumption of alcoholic beverages, both
of which she did to excess pretty much all her life. She was
a heavy smoker and always had something in the neighborhood of a "two
pack" a day habit (40 cigarettes) for as long as I can recall. She
was also a heavy social drinker and her beverage of choice as I recall
was the "Manhattan", a mixed drink served on ice containing whiskey,
sweet vermouth, and a dash of bitters. In Betty's defense I'll
note that by today's standards her cigarette and drinking levels are
clearly considered excessive but that they were accepted as much more normal by
her social class at the time she grew up and lived for maybe two thirds
of her life.
Politics
Betty was never a political activist
though she did stay informed about the issues of the day and always
considered it her duty to vote in elections. Politics were never a
major or regular topic of discussion around the house but were not
ignored either. I believe that mother was always a registered
member of the Republican political party or at least usually voted
Republican. I do recall however that she said she voted for
Democratic party candidate, Bill Clinton, the winner in the 1992
Presidential race.
Musical and Cultural
Interests
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In 1986 with
the ever present ashtray and Manhattan on
the table. Behind Betty at the left on the white shelves
is the very high-end McIntosh vacuum tube based stereo
component
entertainment system purchased in 1959 by her
first husband in New Jersey. It included a pre-amp, an
FM tuner, a huge heavy power amplifier, and a turntable.
(In about 1982 I had given Betty a cassette tape deck to
add to this
system.) She used the McIntosh for many
years but by
the 1980's it became difficult and expensive
to repair. A couple of years before this photo was taken
Betty's
sister had given her a "boom-box" for Christmas
(seen on the speaker behind Betty) which included an
AM/FM radio and a cassette tape deck. I don't think the
McIntosh was
ever used again after the arrival of the
boom-box and Betty used the gift mostly to play cassette
tapes as radio
reception was extremely poor in Hermann.
Today the
McIntosh is stored in my home as it still has
value to audiophiles as an early example of high-end
analog
stereo technology.
Betty and John are sitting at a game table at which Betty
spent most of her waking hours during her final few years
of
life. It had been obtained from the Bradley family
soon
after moving to Hermann, MO in 1973. Today the
table sitsin the living room of son Henry's living room in
Brentwood, TN.
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While Betty's father had played the piano
and her sister was a quite good pianist, I don't recall that Betty had
ever learned to play a musical instrument. Betty enjoyed music of
various types but wasn't a fanatic about it. She was not
prone to running out and buying the latest record album (or cassette
tape in her later days) by the newest hot artist. Most of her
modest music collection at any point in her life primarily consisted of
presents she had received from friends and relatives. I never
recall Betty ever turning on the "hi-fi" or "stereo" specifically to
listen to a given piece of music in a concentrated way or to study it
with the possible exception of the occasional sound track to a Broadway
show, a type of entertainment she enjoyed and would see "live" a few times
a year while living in New Jersey. To her, music was something to
listen to in the background while other things were going on. She
had grown up in the era of the "Big-Bands" and enjoyed this type of
music along with what today is called "easy listening" music.
She also enjoyed Christmas music during the holiday season. I
don't recall her having a particularly favorite genre of music (such as
country or symphony), and she could listen to almost anything,
at least for a limited period of time. As I was growing up she
happily endured the Rock & Roll her sons listened to so long as we kids
were around when it was being played. Betty was also not a fanatic
about going to movies. She'd go to a few of the better ones and
would occasionally watch one on television but generally would prefer to
be socializing with friends than sitting in a movie theater. She
was also not a compulsive TV viewer. For almost the first half of her
life TV didn't exist and, after it did become available in the 1950's,
she never became addicted to it. There were very few TV shows that
were on her "must see" list and would cause her to drop whatever she was
doing and turn on the TV set (except in her final years when she and
John made it a point to watch a game show called Wheel of Fortune every
afternoon). She did watch the news if nothing else was going on
but as a general rule preferred to read or chat with friends if there
was nothing else going on to keep her busy. She read the
newspaper ever day, read magazines, and books, particularly when her
social life slowed down in her later years. For many years she
subscribed to the National Geographic magazine and several other similar
publications as she enjoyed reading about the topics of geography,
travel, anthropology, and natural history. She always enjoyed
visiting museums of almost any type. Betty had been an excellent
Bridge player at least since her college days and played as often as she
could. While her first husband, Kirt Hine, didn't play and thus
she couldn't play as frequently as she'd have liked in her New Jersey
days, John Alderson was a good Bridge player so she played much more
frequently during her second marriage.
Travel
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Betty's
1936, 1962 and 1976 passport photo pages.
She apparently never used the 1962 and 1976
passports so it is not clear why she obtained them. |
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Betty enjoyed traveling and
was always comfortable doing so. In late childhood she traveled
frequently between St. Louis and the East coast to college and to attend
social events. Her 1936 ocean liner trip to Europe was, I believe,
her only overseas foreign travel though she did travel to Canada,
Bermuda, and the Caribbean during the course of her life. During her New Jersey years the
family was regularly packing up and heading for New England, in the
winter to ski and in the summer, spring, and fall for weekends or vacations. There were also
several trips to visit Kirt's relatives in Washington State via airplane
and once by car and several Caribbean sailing vacations in the early
1960's. During the years I was growing up Betty always traveled
toting a "bottle bag" which was in effect a portable bar containing the
fixings for all of my parents favorite alcoholic beverages. When
ever we'd get to where we were going or stopped at a motel for the
night, out would come the bottle bag. She also always traveled
with a well stocked first aid and medical kit. If anyone got hurt
or sick while on the road, mother could always come up with the
appropriate remedy. After her second marriage Betty and John traveled
regularly around the U.S. to visit friends and relatives, usually by car
but sometimes by airplane. I recall mother mentioning more than once
that she always wanted to visit Egypt to see the Pyramids, a goal she
never achieved, though she and John did once travel to Chicago
specifically to see a traveling exhibit about Egypt's King Tutankhamen
("King Tut") in the late 1970's.
Physical Activity
Physical activity did not play much of a
roll in Betty's life and I don't recall her ever being involved in
anything which today we call aerobic exercise which significantly
increases ones heart rate. I don't think she was athletic by
nature. Her high school year book suggests that she was involved
in fencing and tennis but this was likely for required physical education
classes. In all the years I knew her the most exercise she ever got at
one time was likely planting or pulling weeds from a small garden near
the house in her New Jersey days. She was not adverse to
outdoor activities however and enjoyed activities like going fishing
even though I think she enjoyed the going and being there part more than
the actual act of catching fish. She skied with the family in the
1950's but never progressed past the beginner stage on the slopes and
usually only spent part of each day actually with skis on. However, she loved every minute of the socializing and après' ski
activates associated with the sport.
Health
and Medical Information
According to her 1962 passport, Betty was 5 feet 5-1/2 inches tall, had
brown hair and gray-blue eyes. Up until her 1986 breast cancer
diagnosis, Betty had been pretty healthy for her entire life.
She was always careful to get the latest recommended vaccines for common
diseases and the flu (and saw that her family had them also). I
don't think I ever knew whether she ever had her tonsils and/or
appendix removed, reasonably common medical procedures during her
lifetime. Her records show that she had a hysterectomy in
1965, a pretty common operation in those day for women past their
childbearing age. She of course had the usual dental work done
over the course of her life such as the filling of cavities and she had
one dental bridge that I can recall to replace a tooth which she had
somehow lost. In the late 1970's and early 1980's she developed rheumatoid
arthritis which made doing things with her hands somewhat painful.
One one medical adventure that I do recall was her 1980's discovery that
she had become very allergic to sulfides in food and wine. Once
diagnosed it was fairly easy to control by watching what she ate and
drank and, in case of an emergency, she carried a doctor prescribed
syringe and antidote in her purse which John could administer if
necessary. Betty wore eye glasses to correct her nearsightedness
for as long as I can remember, perhaps since childhood. In the later part of the 1980's
Betty developed cataracts in her eyes and underwent surgery to have
them removed and lenses implanted. In spite of being a life
long smoker, a heavy drinker, and never having engaged in much physical
exercise, all of which are today considered fairly risky for your health, Betty
never had diagnosed heart or lung problems except for the ever present
"smokers hack", a minor ongoing cough, which she exhibited in her later
years. Once her breast cancer was diagnosed Betty began to
developed a whole list of medical problems related to the cancer and
it's treatment which would plague her for the rest of her life and for
which she would continually take a number of doctor prescribed
medications. She underwent a mastectomy, radiation treatments, and
chemotherapy. I believe the cancer went into remission and
reappeared at least twice during her last 10 years of life and she
finally succumbed to the cancer and/or it's side effects.
Career as a Homemaker,
Hobbies, and Volunteer Activities
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1957 Prize
Winner |
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With the exception of a few years in the late 1930's and
early 1940's and a year in the 1960's when she worked in St. Louis, Betty spent her
adult life as a "stay-at-home mom", homemaker and housewife.
Besides maintaining a home for her family, being a good wife, and
raising her children, she spent much time over the course of her life
involved in numerous volunteer activities and working with her artistic
endeavors.
Her volunteer activities included
everything from many years of service to the Red Cross during and in the
years after World War II to being active in the Parent/Teachers
associations of her sons schools in her New Jersey years. During
her Hermann years she was President of the Garden Club, Secretary of the
Woman's Club, an active member of the Hermann Weavers Guild, and
volunteered for Historic Hermann, the local historical society.
Looking at the
photographic record, arts and crafts
were clearly a major part of Betty's life though I very rarely if ever remember
seeing mother working on her artistic projects. As I grew up in
New Jersey this was likely because she worked on them after she had sent
us kids off to school or when we were otherwise not around. In
Hermann I generally visited when other family members were also there so
mother would have been to busy socializing to be doing anything else.
In New Jersey and her
subsequent 6 year return to St. Louis her creative energies were mostly
directed toward ceramics. In
her
California years mother took metal working classes.
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Betty's
1950's lion. Several duplicate copies were
given to friends and relatives.
(2002 Photo) |
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During her Hermann years
she directed her creative endeavors away from ceramics and more toward
needle point, hooked rugs, and quilting in addition to taking classes in
welding and silk-screening. By the 1980's, however, the onset
of arthritis pretty much put an end to such activities.
Betty and
Johns 1977 Christmas card mentions that they had purchased a “100 year
old, solid walnut floor loom” which they set up in the Store. To
the best of my knowledge they never got it operational. When I
moved them from the farmhouse to town in 1995 the loom was still in the
store in excellent condition and, I believe, they donated it to a local
organization. Also in 1995 when I moved Betty and John, mother's
then at least 45 year old electric ceramics kiln was stored unassembled
in the basement. It would eventually go to Tennessee with Betty's
son Henry.
Betty the Pack Rat and Compulsive Record Keeper
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Two views of
Betty's "Birthday Book" which she used
to keep track of important dates in the lives of family
and
friends. Because of it she never missed sending
an important birthday or anniversary card or making
appropriate
phone calls on time as each year went by.
This well worn
book contains entries which suggest
that
it was used from the 1940's well into the
1990's.
(2004 Photo) |
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Betty was a "Pack Rat" in that she never through anything away unless
she absolutely had to. I don't think I fully recognized the full
extent of this till late in her life when, in 1995, I moved Betty and
John from the Hermann farmhouse to a duplex in town. In
addition to the stuff I had to sort through which Betty and John had
accumulated in their 22 years of living in the farmhouse, I ran into
great quantities of things Betty had saved from earlier periods of her
life including, for example, rusting and totally obsolete fishing rods and
tackle boxes not used since the late 1950's, huge vacuum tube and
crystal operated citizen band two-way radios from the early 1960's which
had long since been technically replaced by tiny transistor and printer
circuit board versions, wooden tennis rackets long ago made obsolete by
larger metal and composite ones, and her skis, ski boots, and poles also
not used since the late 1950's. Such items were quickly disposed
of. Also found, and which she had stored for most of her life and
would prove to be of much greater value, were boxes of family photos,
letters from her parents, friends, and boyfriends, family records, and
artifacts from her early life along with similar items passed on to her
by her parents and grand parents. I was never really aware of the
existence of these boxes of family history items which, after Betty's
death, have proven invaluable in piecing together and documenting the early years of her life
along with the lives of her ancestors.
(Note: Prior to
writing this biography I sorted and examined in detail Betty's boxes of
long stored personal effects and family records and have included just
about everything notable that I come across here and in the companion
biographies of her ancestors. Not included here nor even really
looked at in any detail were Betty's collection of 50 to 100 letters
written home to her parents from the East Coast in the mid to late
1930's along with perhaps 100 to 150 letters written to her by St. Louis
beau Elihu
Hyndman, also in
the mid to late 1930's. I have stored these letter collections
with Betty's other personal effects and historical artifacts and perhaps
a member of a future generation will someday be able to find them and
have the time to look them over.)
Betty was also a compulsive record keeper
and was quite organized. She logged and saved information on all
kinds of things. Records I've found among her artifacts after her
death include medical records on all members of her family and logs of
the fish each family member caught while vacationing at the Kennebago
Lake Club in Maine in the late 1950's and early 1960's. She saved
all the letters her sons wrote home from camp and boarding school and
recorded many of the Christmas and birthday presents she and family
members received over the years. She also maintained lists of who
she sent Christmas cards/letters to each year and who she received them
from. She also took, filed, and kept notes from important
conversations and events over the years including some priceless ones from discussions
with her great-uncle Ernest Hulburd regarding her ancestry.
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Betty's
annual appointment calendars from 1933,
1934, 1935 and 1994. The small cards (and
their companion tiny pencils on strings) dangling
from a couple of the 1930's volumes were "dance
cards" showing who she danced with at various
social events which she attended that year.
(2004 Photo) |
I knew that mother always kept an
appointment book (desk calendar), one for each year, with pages for each
day or week. In addition to scheduling upcoming events and
appointments she often took notes and recorded comments in them about
what she did that day or week, sort of like a diary but with short
entries in it as opposed to long ones. I've recently discovered
that she had kept and saved such calendars/diaries for almost her entire life and
had them stored in boxes from as far back as the early 1930's.
I think Betty saved every photo of her two
families ever taken. She left a huge box of them from the 1940's,
1950's and 1960's of the family in New Jersey. This
collection had obviously been the source for the photo albums she
created for her sons and called "the boys 21 books". This was a
reference to her intent to present each son, on his 21st birthday, with
an album containing a photographic record of their life to that point
including everything from baby photos to highs school and college photos
and all of our activities in between. As it turned out (in my case
anyway) my "21 book" and it's 3 addendum volumes didn't show up
till I was about 30. But it was well worth the wait as these
memories of my childhood are priceless. During her second marriage
Betty and John organized their photos into albums which were dated by
year through the late 1980's when their medical condition apparently
precluded them from continuing to do a periodic photo organization.
Betty's long saved and stored photo collections have provided many of
the photos contained in this biography.
Prized Possessions & Heirlooms
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January 1976
photo showing samples of Betty's
china dinnerware and crystal
stemware. |
Had she been asked what her most prized
possessions were I'm sure her first answer would have been her sons and
family. Beyond that I think there would a have been a relatively
short list of special items in her life and financial value would not
have been a determining factor. She had a limited amount of
jewelry, some of it I suspect passed on from her mother and grandparents.
Some of this jewelry
which might have made the list. I'm sure she would have listed the
family china dinnerware, crystal stem ware, and sliver tea service and flatware,
much of which I also believe were passed on from her mother and/or grandparents. Some of her
artwork would have certainly been on the list, particularly her ceramic
lion (duplicates of which adorned the gardens and porches of several
friends and family members).
More about the
family China/Silver/Stemware, etc:
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Around 1960
in North Caldwell with photos
of the much larger original oil paintings of
her sons hanging on the
living room wall. |
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1970 in
Vacaville, CA den.
Left to Right: Henry, Ted, Greg |
And definitely on her prized
possession list would have been the 3 oil paintings of her sons done in
1959 by regionally known portrait artist Lawrence Wilbur, a next door
neighbor in New Jersey. The 3 portraits were commissioned by Betty
and Kirt as a present for Kirt's mother shortly after the death of
Kirt's father. Small black & white photos taken of the large
portraits were hung in our New Jersey home and the originals were sent
to Seattle where they hung in my grandmother Hine's living room till she
passed away in 1967. They were then given to Betty by my father
even though they had been divorced since 1962. The portraits hung
prominently in the upstairs hallway of the Hermann farmhouse for all of
the 22 years that Betty and John lived there. Upon mother's death
each of us sons claimed our own individual portrait. Betty's son Henry
shot some video footage of them in the Herman house in 1989. To
view this video, click on the link at the left.
(Portraits left to right in the video: Henry, Ted, Greg.
Betty's grandson Charley Hine appears in the video.)
Following are photos of
several items I know had special meaning to Betty including a framed
limited edition print of an abstract chicken given to Betty by her life-long St. Louis friend Ahden Knight-Hampton in the early 1950's after
Betty and Kirt Hine moved into the North Caldwell "Coop". It was
always on display in the Coop as I grew up. In Betty's Hermann days it
was prominently hung in the main farmhouse hallway at the bottom of the
stairs to the second floor near the front door. Today it hangs in my Louisville,
Colorado dining room. The crock and jug were already considered
antiques when Betty and Kirt found them on their newly purchased
property when they built the Coop in 1949. Betty used them as
decorations from then on. In Hermann, the crock was used to hold
stuff in the main hallway. Today these two items decorate my home.
The two funeral masks were a present to Betty in the early 1950's from
John Nalley, the new (or the about-to-be) husband of her sister Harriet
(Dede). Betty recalls in one of her oral history interviews that
they are either Balinese or Indonesian in origin, are authentic, and
that they were quite old when she received them. John Nalley
worked in the far east for the U.S. State Department in those days and
obtained them in their nation of origin. In the 1954 8mm movie
clip of Betty included in this biography these masks can be seen hanging
just under the Coop porch overhang. The masks currently hang in
the upstairs hallway of Henry's home in Brentwood, Tennessee.
Betty accumulated a house full
of furniture over the years which included everything from a few quality
pieces to what she called her "Early Matrimonial" items, those
accumulated inexpensively when she and Kirt Hine could not afford more
upscale furniture during their child raising years. Over the years
I never paid much attention to the family furniture but it's not likely
that she had much furniture passed on from her
parents due to the circumstance of her move
from St. Louis to New York in 1939 after the incarceration of her father and the
liquidation of the Hulburd family assets to pay restitution.
However, in recently reviewing old
family photos I came upon a picture of a small desk and an accompanying
chair that I instantly recognize as always being in all of Betty's homes
over the years, usually in the living room. The photo is dated September 1942 and was taken in Betty and Kirt's
newly rented Greenbrook Rd. home in North
Caldwell, NJ. My brother Henry tells me that mother had told him
that the desk had belonged to her since her childhood and that he had
researched it in the late 1990's and found it to be quite old and worth
perhaps $500 to $1000 at the time. This desk is thus the oldest piece of Betty's furniture
that I know to be still in the family. During my lifetime Betty always used it for
it's intended purpose; as a place to organize and store bills, records,
pencils, pens, staplers, paper clips, stationary, envelopes, etc.
Upon her death the desk and chair went with Henry to Nashville.
As I write this paragraph (Summer 2005) the desk and chair
(re-upholstered several times over the years) are located in a bedroom
at the farm of Dick and Lu Bradley south of Nashville (the retirement
vacation/weekend home of Cindy Hine's parents which Henry and Cindy care
for when the Bradleys aren't there).
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Betty's desk in
September 1942 in North
Caldwell, NJ
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Christmas time 1978, in the
Hermann, MO living room.
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June,
2005, Bradley Farm in
Tennessee
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In the late 1950's while
living in North Caldwell, NJ Betty had obtained an upright Steinway
piano which moved with her to St. Louis, California, and finally to
Hermann, MO. In the 1980's she gave it to son Henry and today it
is in his living room in Brentwood, TN.
Other Heirloom
Items
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When Betty was a
child her family obtained all the books
in the famous Wizard of Oz series written by L. Frank
Baum. I believe they were all read by Betty and her
siblings. When I was a child I read some of these same
books and at some point they were given to Betty's sister
so her daughter (my younger cousin) Lex Nalley could
read them. In the 1980's Lex shipped them back to
Betty in Hermann, MO for storage where they remained
till Betty's death. The copyright dates in the 28
volumes in this collection range from 1900 to 1931 and
various books have the names of Betty, her sister,
myself, my brothers, and Lex written in them. Today
I have this 28 volume collection stored at my home.
(2006 Photo.) |
When
sons Greg and Henry married Betty gave them
each a diamond
ring which had been passed down
from her ancestors. As
I write this neither of my
brothers can remember which
ancestor their ring
belonged to and I believe the diamonds
in both rings
were removed and re-set into other rings for
their
wives. Betty also gave me a ring (see the photo
above) which is still intact and contains many small
diamonds. I believe she indicated that this had
been
the wedding ring of her grandmother, Harriet
("Hattie") Varner
Shipley-Coudy but I am not
positive of this. I
currently have it stored with
my important personal papers.
(2006 Photo.)
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This was
Betty's portable typewriter which she used for
as long as I
can remember to type letters to her family
and others till
she obtained an electric IBM Selectric
typewriter in the
1980's. She may have had it since she
was in college
in the 1930's. Today I have it stored
in my Colorado
home.
(2006 Photo.) |
Christmas was Betty's favorite time of the year
and she
always decorated the house for the
holiday season. The
above snowman was one of
her favorite decorations from the
time of my
early childhood, perhaps in the late 1940's.
It
runs on flashlight batteries and when turned on
the eyes
and nose flash, the head moves back
and forth, and a small styrofoam ball floats on
a stream of air above the head.
(2005 Photo.) |
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This
coo-coo clock was a present to Betty from her sister Harriet
("Dede") and first husband Ben Erstein in the
mid
1940's. Ben was involved in international finance and was one of the first U.S. civilian businessman allowed
back into Germany immediately after World War II. He
obtained the clock in Germany's Black Forrest area. It
hung in the hall of the North Caldwell, NJ "Coop" for all
the years we lived there and Betty would "wind" it daily
by
relocating the weights and their chains which provided the
energy to keep it ticking. The pendulum was always
in
motion making a clicking sound and once an hour the bird
would come out from behind it's door and "coo-coo"
once for
each hour of the day that had passed. Today the clock
hangs on the wall of my Colorado den.
(2005 Photo.) |
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Shortly
after Betty moved back to St. Louis in 1963 following her
divorce a childhood friend recommended her
for inclusion in
the National Social Directory, an annually published list of
prominent Americans (click on above
right photo to read eligibility requirements). She and
us children living at
home were listed each year from the
mid 1960's till about
1977 when she stopped paying for her subscription. I
have the volumes from 1974 till
1977 but don't know what
happened to the earlier editions which I do remember seeing
over the years.
(2006 Photo.) |
Family History
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The Seward
family coat-of-arms on the left hung
in the upstairs common area of the
Hermann
farm house for years. I
don't know where or when
Betty obtained it. Her great-great grandfather
was Israel Seward, a 1st cousin of William Henry
Seward (President Lincoln's Secretary of State of
"Seward's Folly" fame). In the late 1970's or
early 1980's Betty and John visited
the William
H.
Seward House and museum in Auburn, New York
and Betty talked of finding
herself and her siblings
mentioned in a book about the Seward's apparently
written by her great uncle Upton Seward Coudy.
(1978 Photo by the author) |
In 2008 I
visited the Seward House in Auburn,
NY and took the photo on the right of the
Seward coat-of-arms which was published in
1891 in the book
titled
"William H. Seward –
An Autobiography". I can't explain why the
two coats-of-arms are so dissimilar (I note
the type faces for the word "Seward" are very
similar in each). I learned that the book
Betty referred to that contained a mention of
her and her siblings is titled "Obadiah Seward
of Long Island, New Your and his Decedents"
by Frederick W. Seward which was published
in 1948. |
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Betty had sometimes talked of
doing genealogical research on her ancestors and writing down what she
knew about then but apparently never got around to doing much in this
regard. She did have the good sense however to save, store, and
preserve information and artifacts which had been passed on to her by
her parents, grandparents, and other ancestors which has proven
invaluable in knowing and understanding many of my ancestors. As as I
write this, I have already completed separate biographies of many of
them based on the information saved by Betty. After her death great quantities of this information was found
which had been stored for decades in cardboard boxes. Also saved
and stored was a great deal of information regarding Betty's early years
which has been used in this biography and that I didn't know existed till
after her death.
In addition, over the years
Betty periodically talked to her children about her ancestors and in
doing so orally passed along information about the family history to the
next generation. In the 1980's and 1990's all three of her sons at
various times took advantage of available technologies to capture, in
Betty's own words, some of this oral history.
On July 6,1986 son Greg Hine
captured an oral history interview with Betty on audio cassette tape
which was conducted in the Hermann living room. On January 2,1995
I also recorded an interview on audio tape and in May of 1993 Henry Hine videotaped such an
interview, also in the Hermann farmhouse living room. During this
video interview Betty is sitting at the game table at which she spent
the majority of her waking hours during the final few years of her life
when she could no longer get around well. The audio-only
interviews were recorded on inexpensive portable 1/4" cassette tape
recorders and have been digitally cleaned up and enhanced to remove tape
hiss and other noise and to add clarity to the voices. This
explains why the audio may not at times sound entirely natural.
On September 5th 1990 William
A. Gardner ("Bill), an old friend of Betty's and my father Kirt's, was
visiting in Hermann. Bill had attained Ace status as a fighter
pilot flying P-38 Lightnings during World War II and, after rotating
home from the war in the Pacific in about 1944, had been assigned to do
test flying for Curtiss-Wright Corporation's Propeller Division where my
father was running the flight-test program at the time. What with
wartime housing shortages, Bill ended up living in a spare bedroom in
Betty and Kirt's North Caldwell, NJ home during this period. Bill
and my parents became lifelong friends.
During his 1990 visit to
Hermann, and at my request, Betty conducted and taped an interview with
Bill about his wartime experiences and the time he had spend working for
Curtiss-Wright. While it isn't about Betty's family history and
Bill does most of the talking, I have included the interview here since
it is very interesting story in-and-of itself, demonstrates some of
Betty's communications skills, and provides some background about the
work that her husband Kirt did during the war and thus some information
about the environment in which Betty lived in her early married years.
(Copies of this interview were given to Bill and his family for their
historical purposes and copies have also been provided to at least two
World War II museums as part of their aviation oral history programs,
the Commemorative Air Force and the Champlin Fighter Museum.)
Copyright 2004, 2005
and 2006 by Edward K. Hine, Jr. |
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